Advice to Young Men (Age 20 - 30)

This year I officially left my twenties and entered my thirties. This of course entitles me to give some needed advice to young men in their twenties. The longer I serve in ministry the more I see that the following basic principles are needed among young men. These recommendations are best followed in order.

First, get a job. There are many young men out there who are still too dependant on their parents for their livelihood. Furthermore, it seems that some young men still do not know what they want to do with their lives. As a result they bounce around from job to job. Or worse, they do nothing, waiting for God to miraculously drop their career path in their lap. These young men need to decide what to do with their lives and go after it. Until then, at least get busy doing something. Earn some money and establish something in the work force so that when God does reveal a career path you will have a foundation to build upon.

Second, get married. Outside of a relationship with Jesus Christ this is the most important relationship you can enter into. Being married makes you think of someone other than yourself. It causes you to focus on the needs, wants, and desires of another person, thereby causing you to realize how selfish you are and seek to change. Some young men seem to enjoy sitting around with other young men contemplating their own lives too much and the deeper meaning of life in general. This would be fine if they actually made a significant impact on the world as a result. Most do not. Getting married causes a huge reality check in a person’s life. It forces them to quit living in a dream world and focus on a person other than themselves.

Third, have sex with your wife. Although this seems like the obvious result of the second recommendation it is not. Many young married men are still involved in pornography, and even adulterous relationships. One of the contributors is they are not experiencing the sexual satisfaction God intended for a married man and woman. Young men need to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5) and seek to find fulfillment with that woman God has blessed them with and not a fake relationship over the internet.

Fourth, have kids. I used to think I was busy. I used to think I was tired. Then I had children. Now I know what it means to be busy and tired. Having children matures you in a way I never thought possible. It forces you to prioritize your life. It forces you to live a life that glorifies God at all times. It forces you to be more of a spiritual leader. It forces you to be purposeful in how you lead your family. It also makes you less sympathetic to younger people who are single who say they are busy and tired.

Before some of you get angry with my recommendations let me qualify the preceding statements. I understand that there are exceptions to the rules. I realize that God does not call everyone to get married or have children. I know of incredibly godly and productive single people and married adults who do not have children. However, these ideas do apply to the vast majority of young men. It seems that many young men are afraid to grow up. For whatever reason, it seems that many men between 20 and 30 years of age are maturing at a slower rate. All of this poses a problem for the future. Especially in the area that I focus much of my energy, the church. We need young men in this age range to step up, mature, and become the leaders that God has called them to be.